Driving Me Crazy

Can anyone tell me how to acquire my City of Portland Bicyclist Moral Superiority Certificate? I have already passed my mandatory Oregon State Self Righteous Indignation test and I am wondering what the next step is. The city lowered the required minimum number of corporate sponsors on my spandex riding uniform to 650 – so that’s no longer an issue. But I am concerned that I still may not have completely lost my sense of humor as required in the city residency statutes. Will this affect my Passive/Aggressive personality perception requirements and raise my mandatory pedestrian fatality minimums in order to qualify for the certificate? -  On a similar note, I was surprised to learn that there are traffic laws for cars in this town. Who would have guessed?



3 Responses to Driving Me Crazy

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Driving is Hazy | Penetrating Wine -- Topsy.com

  2. Too funny…of course I don’t know who gets the prize here, my lovely home of San Francisco or Portland. The good news is (for me) that there seems to be a natural migration from here to there….

  3. Edward Holmes

    Instant ascension to top of my blog list – I used to peruse for the great wine insight; now it seems I have an ally in my growing contempt for ‘the most bicycle friendly place on earth’… Astounding how post a 40-50 mile road ride, I am sneered at, scolded and scoffed by skinny jean wearing, no helmet sporting, messenger bag wielding custodians of bicyc-oolness because I dare use my car to get downtown for a meeting or lunch – maaaaaaan. Portlandia summed it up pretty well. I raise a glass and look forward to more!

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